Thursday, September 30, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday


every Friday write a short story, poem or prose and then
report it to the g-man!!


'thoughts swirl and flow as they sting inside
feelings too real nowhere to hide
try to reason and it makes no sense at all
like quicksand the fear reigns on, there is no one to call
i would like to say it gets better with time
but to lie so easily is such a crime'

this is what it is like inside the head of a borderline personality. this is my 55, my story today. it comes in furious and leaves everyone with a scar. to say i understand this is a lie, i am just at the beginning of my journey with this beast, i hope i survive. today is so much better and i need to focus on now, but the pain and shame it leaves me with, is too much to just let go without at least giving it some respect, so as not to get so complacent that i may forget what may come. i don't want to dwell, i want to look at it and learn from it, so it does not become who i want to be.

i am excited to not be diabetic today, i think i added a few years to my life with my new diet and exercise routine. that feels like a good accomplishment. i am proud that i did not settle for less when it came to my physical health and i have my recovery to thank for that, my recovery will get me through this as well. my recovery and my support group, including my blogging buddies. thank you guys for all your wonderful comments, they are truly, truly appreciated.

23 comments:

moondustwriter said...

I know G would say hang in there.

I'll say you go girl - you are doing many things for your body and your kids. The nice thing about the blog community is we do stand strong for each other.

Have a great weekend

Moon hugs

Brian Miller said...

with the right people around you...you will survive...nice 55...thanks for the glimpse...

LarryG said...

very cool - diet and exercise can unlock doors to freedom!

glad that has gone well -
and a very powerful 55!

Shadow said...

i have to disagree. i DOES get better with time. it took 4 years for me to feel part of society. but that is me. with everyone it's different. you will get there too, hunny.

HOOTIN' ANNI said...

It will only get better if you work continually, AND MAKE it better. With love of yourself and love of others...it WILL come. Powerful 55.

Here is my 55 link

gautami tripathy said...

Sometimes it seems very hard. But be positive. It will be ok.

Here is my Haibun in 55 words!

Prayer Girl said...

I'm with Shadow. The road of recovery is a long one and is not walked quickly. But the benefits though slow in coming are enough to keep someone who really wants it coming back. You are one of those. God bless you and your efforts. I also know that you are making more progress than you give yourself credit for. It is hard to see it in ourselves.

Congratulations clean and crazy for hanging in there. Miracles do and will happen in your life.

My 55 is up.

PG

dustus said...

Thanks for sharing about yourself and your words. Educational post and 55! Warm regards, Adam

Akelamalu said...

Well done on not being diabetic any more. I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in February and put on tables but I have changed my diet and lifestyle and thankfully it is all under control now so I agree with you that taking control can make a huge difference. :)

TALON said...

Sounds like you are making major and life-altering positive choices and changes and that is truly a reason to be proud!

Alice Audrey said...

Some things get worse with time. Like diabetes.

Vodka Logic said...

Thanks for the thoughts, nice to get a look at our fellow bloggers.

Claudia said...

it's great to have people around who you can rely upon and know they will help you - thanks for being so open, it needs people like you to encourage others....great 55!

Eric Alder said...

It sounds like a jellyfish inside your skull, flowing and stinging.

Congrats on being non-diabetic - proof that you're on your way to better things.

Dulce said...

...A crime-for sure... We should never lie... especially not to ourselves!

GREAT 55er!

Priyanka Bhowmick said...

the more you think the more life turns complicated. be what you want to be, do what you want to. love this FFF

Mama Zen said...

Coping with a mental illness does get easier in a lot of ways. It really does. Hang in there!

PattiKen said...

Congratulations on all the effort you are making to take control of your life and health. It sounds like you are really working at it. Isn't it nice to see it paying off?

Thom said...

Hang in there my friend. You will make it. It's hard at first I'm sure but it's got to get easier. Great 55. Have a wonderful weekend :)

Jannie Funster said...

Diet and exercise do so SO much -- good for you! And I find laughter a great friend too. If I'm a little down or grumpy I laugh out loud, which feels really weird but if I keep at it I feel so much better.

Thanks for your courage and honesty in sharing.

xo

Syd said...

I think that it will get better for you. We each have days when the words said are ones that I wish I could take back. But to admit when I am wrong promptly has helped. Hang in there.

Teresa said...

So very glad to hear that you are making good choices for a healthy life. I hope you continue to improve. Thanks for sharing this.

magiceye said...

a wonderful 55

keep on recovering!