My Journey Continues

Wow I am getting the jitters. Tomorrow will be my 4 year clean date and I can hardly believe it. Today I have made phone calls to take a college class. My student loans are still in deferment and will be for one more year. That will give me time to pay off my bad debt which is only about 700 dollars. I can't believe I am paying off my bad debt. It is amazing how much I am doing today. I talked with Wes about going back to school for Graphic Design (wow me in graphic design classes!!) and I told him my fears about taking a full college course, you know the fears from our past lives that like to come out and haunt us from time to time.
When I was 16 I got my high school diploma early and my dream was to do special effects make- up and work in Hollywood movies like Nightmare on Elm Street, remember how scary those special effects were? I took a make up class with an old gentleman who was one of the founding makers of Max Factor, I went to Beauty college and my Father told me to take the entire cosmetology course so I would have something to fall back on. Sounds great right, not I took the 1600 hour course and when I went to the state board exams I failed them, not once , no not twice but 6 times. Yes 6 times I failed the test. I finally decided it wasn't for me and dove into the lucrative business of waitressing and bartending. You know that one it is one step above stripping where you don't take your clothes off but you do get your ass grabbed by drunks for money, provided you wear a tight enough top so you have cleavage the size of route 66 hanging out. But I digress, really I have anxiety about following through on college, and doing something that I am not ready to do. The full college course requires math. I am not good at math, I am still in remedial math!! But the vo-tech courses are just the graphic design classes with out any pre- requisit classes to have to pass first.
Today however is a new day, I talked to a woman at the community college and she says I can take a computer class (there are no real typing classes anymore, those are for high school students) or a one day key board class. Now the computer class is one whole semester and it would give me 3 credit hours and the class costs $74.00 per credit hour. So for 200 bucks I can get 3 credit hours learn how to work in computers better and acclimate my self into school again. life is such an adventure today and i am trying to live it to the fullest. did you notice the new piece of my blog? I finally figured out how to put my fellow blogger links on to my blog!! Woohoo, I have been following your blogs I just didn't know how to put them up on my post. I learn something new every day!! Now if I can just get my 2 and 3 year old girls to take a nap today, I can get a shower!! I still have hope, and the day is young for my thought;"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world. as in being able to remake ourselves."---Mahatma Gandhi