Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Feelin' the Burn Baby!!
It's official, I am a sloth!! I am so out of shape I can't stand myself. I just got back from the Y and only did 2 laps in the pool and my back is killing me, and I feel like I am going to throw up!! To give you some perspective, it takes 70 laps to finish 1 mile and I ran out of steam with 2!! I even had cramps in my side. I have a slight head ache and I have water in my ears. Needless to say this does nothing for my self esteem. I should have just done my 20 minutes on the elliptical.
So what is my lesson in this venture, I don't know, but I do know that I am out of shape, unless you compare me to a pear!! So I really need to quit waffling with the gym I go then I stop. I make excuses not to go then I go for a week. What am I to do with myself. This water in my ears is really annoying, could that cause infection. I haven't swam in years (thank you captain Obvious) and it is very humbling. No let me say how I really feel, I was humiliated with myself. Here is the funny part, my arms aren't tired and neither are my legs, it is everything in between that hurts, I don't even know if I can eat dinner. I don't even swim in a straight line the life guard blew her whistle at me. OK I am really tired of being overweight. I am tired of needing really big clothes. I know that I need to work out for my health but I really want to lose weight. I refuse to take diet pills and my biggest problem is my appetite. It is like I eat to stuff my I don't know what but I am stuffing something and I don't feel good not having energy. I think I need to try swimming more but the only reason I even got in the pool was because my daughter was there. I have a fear of going out in my swim dress by myself.
I am so frustrated with myself and I needed to share that. Also I need to share that I have less time to blog because of thing one and thing two, note the cute picture at the top, they need constant attention and I need to be more productive at home since this blog doesn't bring in any income and we need to tighten our belts like everyone else and I feel like a big bill instead of a help. I really need a meeting but tonight I need to take my daughter to counseling and then the night will be over. I will listen to a meeting when I get home. There is an internet radio station called euphoria recovery radio.com and it plays NA speaker tapes 24 hours a day, so I will tune in to that and catch up on the comments of what the rest of my blogger buddies are up to. Maybe I will tell you about my wayward brother and the wonderful letter I got from him this week. For todays thought:"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."-Eleanor Roosevelt