Flash Fiction Friday- the meaning of hero

Every Friday write a short story, poem or limerick of 55
words, no more, no less and then report it to the G-Man!!

"if ever there was a hero to thank

two years ago today my heart truly sank

if ever there were any words left unsaid

they were left there that day on that hospital bed

my how time flies and how my girls have grown

forever in my heart, your seed of love has been sown"

Here you go G-man this is for my mom who passed away two years ago today. Cancer is a horrible disease and i would not wish it on my worst enemy.

i am doing well today and i know my mom is near. i am grateful for her and the help she gave me to get me into recovery.

i remember one night i was in withdrawals and it had been a while since i used and i was living with my mother. i could not function i would have fits of rage and i would throw the kitchen chairs across the dining room in anger. and i would go in shame and lock myself in my bathroom and cry for hours pounding my fists against the floor until my knuckles bled. it was awful and the whole time my oldest, my only child at the time, watched this.

anyway i decided i couldn't take it anymore and i was leaving for good. i threw the car keys at my mom and left. she didn't do anything to me and i wasn't mad at her, but i took it out on her. i didn't know where i was going or what i was doing, i had been in trouble with the cops but i had checked into outpatient at this time and my court date had not come. really i just wanted to go to jail i wanted to do something so they would lock me away forever and i couldn't hurt anyone. i tried to sleep in the park, then i got up and walked around town for a while. i ended up at the hospital around 4 in the morning because i didn't know where else to go and there was coffee in the waiting room of the 4th floor where they had babies.

i sat there until morning and i was so desperate. i had no money, nothing. so i called my mom and she asked me where was i. i didn't want to tell her i felt like such a complete and total failure. i finally told her and she asked if she could bring me something to eat. i started crying, i did not want her to come i just wanted to go away. i finally told her i would meet her downstairs and she came and brought me some food. i sat on the bench with her and cried like a baby. she told me she loved me and wanted me to come home, to please come home. she said 'don't you know i want you there?' i was like why i can't even control my anger, i stole all your money i am not worth it. and she said to me; 'baby i am so proud of you and i love you' i said 'how, how could you be proud of me i am a total mess i can't even take care of my own daughter.' and she said 'because you stopped doing that and you are trying to get better and i know you can.' and we cried a little longer.

and i went home with my mother and i went to my first NA meeting. my mother is my hero because she was there for me in my darkest hour. and i am grateful that i was clean and that i had the honor and privilege to be there and hold her hand as she walked through hers. That's all i got, i will keep coming back.