Wednesday, August 12, 2009

boys have all the fun

“He who has health has hope,
and he who has hope has everything.”
Arabian proverb

oh my gosh has it really been 5 days i have been so busy, here is some pictures of my honey last weekend in colorado, doesn't he look great?! he is the one in the front with the glasses and the black and blue striped shirt. the guys had a great trip they hit some meetings went to the garden of the gods, drove up to pikes peak at 14,000 feet and they just had a great time.
i spent the weekend a little different, first i spent 6 hours getting my cpr certification, then i spent the day at area doing service work, i felt out of place as a former friend of mine was there and the tension was thick. i don't know why exactly she is mad at me, but i think it is because i spoke up against her stepping up for area service work, she was our secretary and then area co- chair and then gsr of her home group, conflict of interest aside i felt she could not do all three positions effectively. i stepped up for secretary, just for this month but i stll felt the cold shoulder and it has really been hurtful to me but i cannot own it, i cannot even apologize as she has not told me why she is not longer speaking to me.
i have really be isolated this last week and i only got to one meeting last week and the effects of no meetings if hard. i also re-arranged my house for inspection and i also finally got paid and so far have not over spent my money. i am sad that i lost a friend and then my daughters counselor finally sent her analysis of "A" and it was all co-signing and blame. i was so angry when i read the stupid report you would not believe how unprofessional this woman was in her report, that we asked for over a month ago!!
she said "before YOU stopped the sessions "A" was ready to start having some sessions with her mother..." we asked about that over 6 months ago and she is barely getting to it now?!? and then blames us for not continuing counseling!! we asked her for an assessment over a month ago, if we had gotten this in a timely fashion at best "A" would have missed one appointment. This really really hurt, she also said "it seems she is being asked to "get over" the first 10 or so dysfunctional and chaotic years of her life because the last 3-4 have been "stable"." This is from a counselor who is taking for gospel the words of a 15 year old and not ever talking to her parents, because we have never been invited to counseling, until this letter. nobody, i repeat nobody has ever asked "A" to "get over" anything we just wanted her to learn some coping skills instead i sent her to "co-signers-R-Us" . i know my past has been hard on her, i know i have been a horrible person. i know all the bad stuff i have done and i never asked her to get over it. if i wanted her to get over it i would have just said so instead of spending thousands of dollars on worthless counseling, i mean this past year has been nothing but a bitch session about me and nothing about her. it should have been about her. the therapist should have asked her things like, "don't you see your resentment is hurting you?" i don't know but it should have been about "A" and how can she better learn to live in today, not 5 years ago. Then Wes asks me "why are you so upset?"
gee i don't know probably because the professional person i sent my daughter to for the last year has just named me Americas worst mother and that in essence this letter simply states that i will never ever be able to do right by my daughter!!! and now my daughters best friend is the lady who refuses to speak to me, so everyone in town hates me!!! who do i think i am trying to open a daycare when i can't even care for my teenager. i don't feel grateful i haven't called my sponsor and now i have to continue this venture which will probably fail like everything else i do. my garden is looking sad, my watermelon have blossom end rot and i can't find anything to fix it everything i read says it is calcium deficient and i almost poured milk on my garden. i think i am under watering it and Wes thinks i am over watering it and i went to my compost heap and pulled out some eggshells and crushed them up in the soil but the melon is still rotting. my tomatoes are so big all my plants are falling over and i can't tie them up. i think my tomatoes are taking out all the calcium out of the garden and i don't know how to replenish it. one whole cucumber vine is completely yellow and wilted. and i sent a card out to a fellow blogger who never even received it, so i need to resend the card.
do i sound like i am on a pity pot? i am exhausted and have been babysitting from 4:30 in the morning and not getting to bed until ten at night and i now need to get the area minutes done, regional service is this weekend and i am actually not looking forward to it, and i usually love going to region. todays thought; "If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone."
--John Maxwell. American Author and motivational speaker


G-Man said...

Did you have to give a little lip to Recessa Annie?

BTW...Loved your 55...G

diane d said...

Your thought for the day is very fitting.

Madison said...

I have one word for the counselor, Goodbye.

Lou said...

Counselors and therapists are just like cops, waitress, nurses, and cashiers. There are good ones and there are bad ones.

If you don't like the therapist, request another one. But before you do that, look at the report with a rational and distanced eye. Make sure you are not reading blame onto yourself.Your daughter is going to school, she is not running away or whoring around (I don't think). She doesn't sound permanently scarred, my Andrew was acting out a lot worse at her age and he had a "normal childhood."
Maybe everyone could take a break from getting analyzed for a couple weeks.

Patrick said...

Love the pic, I spent many years in CO, lovely area.

Hang in there!

Shadow said...

never mind the pity pot. you have a right to be upset. its the therapists duty to direct the issue to the person IN therapy and not let them run away with placing the blame on everything and everyone but themselves.

Cat said...

I went through three therapist in 2 years before I found the one that felt like a goot fit for me. I treat it like a sponser, if it is a bad match, then its no good for anyone, so be open and investigate other options.

Love white water rafting - the pictures make me wanna go again!