Saturday, August 22, 2009

100 miles an hour down a one way street

this is what i am telling the committee in my head. gosh i can't believe it has been over a week since my last post and i missed friday's flash 55!! i need to get this out of my head though and then i gotta get something to eat. we were grocery shopping and Wes had a panic attack and checked his blood pressure and it was very high. so we left, didn't finish what we were doing just left and called the doctor. i cannot take the pressure of wondering if he is going to be OK it feels like a flashback of taking care of mom. i need a meeting and cannot seem to be able to get to one. i am trying so hard to finish getting this house ready for inspection i just need my fire alarms and i just bought 80 dollars worth of tot locks for the house to pass muster. now it is taking the time to put them on, meanwhile my yard needs work i need to tend my garden and the kids need lunch i haven't eaten if it wasn't for going to the gym every day this week my head probably would have popped!! I got this sign in an email and i am thinking that is what i need to do in my head, i am so overwhelmed with this and that and i can't seem to slow down and i am getting snappy at the kids and myself and i am bottling because i can't stress Wes out and i feel very isolated. Wes just checked his bp and it was normal so that is great but my head is telling me what does this mean i can't go get groceries because spending money stresses him out?!? OK i gotta go I don't have time to keep typing I just needed to vent and try to sort some thoughts to slow down, going outside to work on my poor garden, my cucumbers have all died, my tomatoes are heavy with fruit but not turning red and my lawn needs cut and i need to plant my broccoli and cauliflower and cabbage but have no BT to stop the caterpillars from killing them like they did my other plants and i refuse to use 7 dust ever again because it is just too dangerous. thanks for sharing all your wonderful thoughts and words of encouragement i will post soon i hope i will stop by and check on everyone as soon as i can, hopefully tonight, i don't have my sisters kids this weekend so i am able to rest in a bit.
todays thought; "Clearly understand there isn't any situation that isn't made worse by worry. Worry never solves anything. Worry never prevents anything. Worry never heals anything. Worry only serves one purpose... it makes matters worse."- Bob Procter (Your Achievement Ezine - issue no. 176)


Susan DeAngelis said...

Ah, a garden -- I wish I had a house so I can grow some frest tomatoes, basil, peppers, yum.

Love you post :)


Susan DeAngelis said...

I would consider it an honor if you added my blog to your list of reads :)

Mike Golch said...

Wow,and I thought that I was having a bad day.Hugs my friend.

Tall Kay said...

OMG! Your post made me dizzy! Your cup is definitely overflowing C&C.

Take a deep breath, first things first (like a meeting), and ask your HP for help. Worry is the false illusion of control, and we are powerless.

I'm saying a prayer for you, right now. God will get you through this. Hang in there. Big hugs!

Lou said...

I hate to say it.. maybe this summer was not the one to learn gardening. I know you were trying to save money, and feed your family good, homegrown food. But a garden is not supposed to make you crazy!!

There are many reasons for panic attacks. Wes can look up on the net ways to talk himself down if it is not being caused my a medical problem. My husband had them for awhile and took meds, but they had horrible side effects. He quit taking them and learned ways to calm himself. It is not easy and it does work for everyone, I'm just throwing it out.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I do hope that Wes is feeling better and that YOU don't feel like you are doing too much, going too fast. (that sign is funny though)
Take care. Deep breaths. remember what you are thanful, family, love.

A Stitch In Thyme said...

I'm with Tall Kay, just take a deep breath and slow down the rumination a bit. It will all work out. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe figure out why the BP is soaring with certain task and delegate task. I used to have panic attacks before PTSD set in heavy. I found it best if my hubs suggested strongly something for me to do remedial to divert my thoughts.


Syd said...

You may want to look into ways to use some organic controls of pests. I don't use many pesticides but have to use some because the deep South is filled with insects that eat gardens. I'm sure that you've learned a lot from gardening. It requires patience and care and lowered expectations.