Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Gratitude Wednesday and fun

Well I went in to the studio yesterday, full of anxiety. i felt a little unworthy and i was afraid i was not ready for the complete portrait retouch. Libby called me yesterday and has some real work for me, i have been doing the Kelby online training from home but i am unsure of my skills for portrait retouch. i told her i could come in after dinner and i was a wreck all day completely unfocused and i realized my fear and worry were a direct result of my low- self esteem, a character defect i have not yet worked on and yet that is the step i am on. funny i thought i was done listing my character defects and i had already done half of my 6th step with my sponsor, yet here i was crippled with fear over low- self esteem. i thought that after i worked the steps that low self esteem would be gone, i really had no idea it was a character defect. yet here it was in all it's beautiful glory just crippling this little addict into thinking she is not good enough when truth be told, if i use the spiritual principle of "humility" and look at the reality of the situation i have been working with Libby for months now and she knows full well i am in training and she is the one who has given me the skills i know and has helped me so much so why would I feel unworthy? Low Self Esteem. So I went in last night and had a wonderful time with her and we worked on some pictures and I need more work so I took the pictures she needs done home on a jump drive and i am going to finish the professional portrait retouch tutorial today and see where I go from there. I also pitched an idea for her storefront window display that we were going to work on and she loved it so I was given permission to go through her pictures and find the ones i want to work with for this project and when I am finished i can show her and see if it is up to par.
So today is gratitude Wednesday again my where does the week go?
1. i am grateful for humility, sometimes it comes late but i am able to look at life and humbly admit that "everything is not about me".
2. i am grateful for my step work, i am able to look back at myself and see where i really came from and i can appreciate today so much more for that.
3. i am grateful for my ability to see life for what it really is, again this goes back to humility but it is so powerful. i used to walk around in doom and gloom in a world where nobody loved me, poor pitiful me. and that is just not true today and i can focus on the beauty of spring and life all around me and not just me today. so i am grateful for that.
4. i am grateful for my curly hair. growing up i hated my hair it was always a mess and it wasn't pretty like the girls with straight hair and i always tried cutting it myself, my 9th grade picture was me with a mullet because of this!! i recently had my hair cut and now when i wash it i can either straighten it, and it looks great or just leave it and it is full of springy bouncy curls. people ask me if i have had a perm and i tell them no this is natural. funny how i never appreciated what i had growing up.
5. i am truly grateful to see the sunshine today, it is peeking through my blinds and leaving little rays in the air, i can see the dust floating in the air. we haven't seen the sun in over a week it is a welcome sight.
6. i am grateful for the rain we have had, an abundance of beautiful rain that leaves my lawn so green and the scenery here is going to be magnificent next month.
7. i am grateful for the extra washer and dryer in my storage unit, my dryer is going out and it would be awful to try and replace that with a new one. We could afford it, but the shopping for one would suck, so i am grateful for the one in my storage unit.
8. i am grateful for Wednesday and this list i am committed to making it keeps me grounded and happy with my life today.
9. i am grateful for sir Elton John. i love listening to his music and the special memories it brings me when i hear his songs.
10 i am grateful for fishwhiskers. fishwhiskers is new to my blog so i stopped my her site; Crafty whiskers Crochet and was pleasantly surprised to find such a talented and sweet person, just the type i like to follow. for those of you with little ones who want home made earth friendly toys check out her blog and say hi. you will see how crafty she is and what a wonderful addition to the blogging community she is going to be. Thank you for stopping by today.
I hope you all take the time to welcome her to this wonderful community we have here and I hope your Wednesday is filled with gratitude and hope. today's thought;Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.... It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.- Melodie Beattie
What are you grateful for today?
Elton John
Here is one you won't want to miss: Enjoy the Ride!!


Steve E. said...

Today's though on GRATITUDE...I love it, and I'll be back and read it again, later. I should copy it.

Joe said...

Great gratitude list and a wonderful quote!

and yes, some sun would be nice...

Syd said...

I'm grateful for having people who love me and call me to tell me so.

G-Man said...

I do believe your glass is now half-full!!!

Prayer Girl said...

I learned that when I am filled with that feeling of being less than and even worse - low self-esteem - it is often "pride in reverse".

That was a really helpful concept.

God does not make junk. I have no business constantly thinking of myself (God's handiwork) as trash.

So, I think I'll treat myself with dignity and respect today.

Prayer Girl

Shadow said...

cool post... and strangely enough, i also only now appreciate my straight hair... your gratitudes are always so good!