Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Beyond my Wildest Dreams

Well I have spent most of today working on my new service position. I have mentioned before that I am very involved in service work and today I was working on our regional newsletter. It is called the MAN. It stands for Mid America Newsletter and it has been in print since 1983. I am very excited and well I wouldn't say humbled but fear would be a better word for it. I am fearful of not having the skills to do this work. It is an established newsletter and the only work I really need to do is put the submissions into the template, make a word search and send it off to print. I have never ever done anything like this before in my life. EVER. Everything I ever learned on computers I learned while in recovery. No kidding. So it is really amazing how far I have come, I remember when I was about 28 and I had decided to go to college. I took an entry level computer class it was called accounting 260. I thought accounting was for taxes?! Anyway this class really really broke it down to the very, very basics, like what is the first thing you need to have internet, I didn't know, what an ISP was. It discussed the motherboard, and hardware and there were simple little tutorials that were extremely difficult for me. I remember at the beginning of the class the teacher had everybody take this test to see how much we knew about the course. Every kid in there was done in no time, and I mean kid they were all 17 and 18 I was at least 10 years older then them. I scored a 16 on the test. Just before the end of the semester we took the same test and I scored like a 68. I was so proud of how much I had learned but the teacher he told me to drop the class so I wouldn't hurt my grade point average. I was failing. So fast forward to today and here we are I am doing photoshop and graphic designs learning so much more than I ever dreamed possible on computers. All that I have learned has only been capable because of this program I am even blogging!! Most people I know don't even know what that is!! I do worry though that I will not be good enough to do this job. I pulled up the InDesign program and the newsletter template is there so I put in the submissions I had and that leaves me with 4 pages of blank space that needs to be filled. My old editor told me to go through the archives and do a "best of" series as fill in for the rest. Then he and his wife will come out on Saturday and they will show me how to get it to the printers. I guess my addict is really trying to kick my butt and bring me down telling me that nobody will like it. I really appreciate having this place to work out my thoughts. It is snowing today and I doubt I will make it to a meeting tonight. This is very helpful. I appreciate all the comments everybody gives me and if you want to read my latest project, it will be posted after this weekend on our regional website www.marscna.net there are archives of all the past issues and there are also event flyers and meeting schedules for anybody who may be visiting the area. So again I will put this in my "god box" and leave you with this prayer:Just for today: I will open my eyes to the possibilities before me. My potential is as limitless and as powerful as the God of my understanding. Today, I will act on that potential. -Just for Today meditation for December 3.


Ann said...

You can certainly do this! You've come so far already and every new day is a fresh start to keep trying your hardest and doing your best. Believing in yourself is the hardest, first step of all but you can do it :)

Shadow said...

let your addict voice kick away, i think you'll do it. and do it great!