|October 20||Freedom to choose|
“Enforced morality lacks the power that comes to us when we choose to live a spiritual life.”
Basic Text, p. 45
In our active addiction, many of us lived our lives by default. We were unwilling or unable to make choices about how we wanted to act, what we preferred to do, or even where we would live. We allowed the drugs or other people to make our most basic decisions for us. Freedom from active addiction means, among other things, the freedom to make those choices for ourselves.
Freedom of choice is a wonderful gift, but it’s also a great responsibility. Choice allows us to find out who we are and what we believe in. However, in exercising it, we’re called on to weigh our own choices and accept the consequences. This leads some of us to seek out someone who will make our choices for us—our sponsor, our home group, our NA friends—just as our disease made our choices for us when we were using. That’s not recovery.
Seeking others’ experience is one thing; abdicating personal responsibility is something else. If we don’t use the gift of freedom we’ve been given, if we refuse to accept the responsibilities that go along with it, we’ll lose that gift and our lives will be diminished. We are responsible for our own recovery and our own choices. Difficult as it may seem, we must make those choices for ourselves and become willing to accept the consequences.
Just for today: I am grateful for the freedom to live as I choose. Today, I will accept responsibility for my recovery, make my own choices, and accept the consequences.
i read this today and it felt good. i am still ok with the consequenses of my actions and the newsletter article i wrote. my sponsor has not responded to me about my thoughts on being fired from my position. maybe she thinks i will be. i will try to detriangulate the situation, but right now i am not so worried about it.
i am deciding on green unicorns and learning to make a cape. today a real estate person is coming to help us decide what needs to be done to sell this house as soon as possible. it has been many years we have talked about selling, i am not getting my hopes up, that just gets old. but i am getting my house tidy for the guy to come in. not much i can do abotu the garage, or the bathroom, both my honey tried on his own to remodel... disasters, both so i am kind of embarrassed to show this, but that is my job as a homemaker.
more will be revealed. today's thought; 'We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.'- the immortal randy pausch