Flash Fiction Friday- Insomnia

"Every Friday, when you have a moment, write a short story, poem or prose. 55 Words no more, no less and then report it to the g-man!!!

"There is a fierce wind tonight and my nerves, shot from anticipation

Nothing left to do but surrender, yet the wind howls outside

Feeling anxious, full of fear inside, why can't i just let it go?

As i pray for angels to calm my heart,

i will take comfort  that I am not alone."

G-man, that's where i am at. here waiting looking for something else to tidy up. the surveyor comes tomorrow, i think everything is done, that is until i inspect the damage from this wind storm...
The skies are clear the air is hot and humid, perfect for tornadoes, none out there but it sure feels like it. I hope to post this with links one can only try.

I will update you in the morning after i hear from her, my surveyor, if i get my license.
so for todays thought;

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis."--Margaret Bonnano

Keep It Simple

"Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues." --- Hugh Prather

OK so I needed two of them, I think they are very fitting!!

just call me puddles

So we had the public information booth today at the senior center. it went well, really, really well. Then i got rid of the area PO Box key so one less item to worry about. My sisters husband watched the girls this morning so I could do my service work and when i got back the bean was in a pair of big red shorts, big!!
I said where are her pants, he said she just peed over and over again in her pants. so I told him to just call her puddles!!

So i need to watch a couple of parenting videos and we need to get some shopping done for some supplies for the daycare and i think we are set. oh my gosh i think i am going to be licensed!!

i am having hunger cravings like crazy!! i was finishing up lunch and the bean left a chicken nugget uneaten and as i was cleaning off the table i stuck it in my mouth!! after realizing what i did i spit it out!! and with all the craziness this week i haven't been to the gym but i spent several hours outside yesterday getting the debris removed from my yard.

i feel like i'm slipping back into old habits and not wanting to try because the results aren't fast enough. you know for an addict, i want what i want when i want it. that is a recipe for disaster. i felt i needed to blog about it to get it out in the open, i don't want to quit the weight watchers. it feels like i am going to relapse on food!! i am hungry and i just ate. i am stuffing and i don't want to talk about it, area is this weekend and i am always anxious about it.

i have been involved with activities for so long and i feel the need to be more involved with public information, at the regional level however those two subcommittees meet at the same time, so i have some praying to do.

when i get caught up in resentments or something is eating my lunch, i find that for me the solution is talking about service work, then it keeps my head from spinning out of control.

now haley has a huge red mark on her thigh!! last sunday the bean had one from the hep-a shot, haley went back to the doctor for the rest of her 4 year vaccines and they did them in the same leg!! now she is having an allergic reaction. i took pictures of it just now and we are heading back to the doctors office...

to be continued....

Waz up?

11:18pm monday evening in the wichita metro area and a cool 50 degrees with clear skies! hows the weather in your neighborhood? honestly i tell ya, i just can't believe the roller coaster and it won't stop!! i tried the emergency brake and the lever broke!! i am just RUNNING like a chicken with my head cut off!!

wow so the surveyor came by on friday ant i totally wasn't ready, i knew it i just wouldn't surrender. i needed to let her come out and write down what i had left to do so i could fix it. instead i am going around just like a lunatic with a toothbrush cleaning every nook and cranny, like she cares about crannies? i mean what the hell is a cranny anyway, i don't know but they're clean i tell ya if they are in this house they are clean.

so she does the walk through, relatively painless, my bathroom was a major problem. ok so i stopped buying wipes, you know I am trying to save the freaken planet here, well the health department don't care about no planet see, what they care about is sanitation stations!! and wipes for the kids to be sterile in the house they are in. when it is your own private home you can germ it up all you want and lysol don't count. when your home becomes a facility for the public it needs to be up to code missy. so i need a paper towel station to wash their hands and dry them, kids cannot share the same towel hanging from the bathroom door to wipe their clean hands on, it will contaminate them. then i need to clear out the cabinet above the sink. it has make up and little tweezers they can hurt them selves on. or i can install tot locks on to the bathroom cabinet, have you ever installed a tot lock? you tube a video for it sometime, they are a pain in the butt!! the guy on the video has these nice cabinets especially made for the video to make installation look easy. try it on 50 year old cabinets!! you gotta drill a hole in the cabinet because they are so thick the magnets don't reach through!!

ok and there was the debris in the back yard, which is actually a blessing to remove because it has been on the 'honey do' list for a year now. so he did it!!

paper work, paper work, paperwork!! i needed 3 tb test 2 hep-a vaccinations, 2 parent release forms, 2 emergency contact forms filled out, a new disaster plan, ('what like this wasn't working?') a posted discipline policy, the one in the contract rocks it just needs to be on the bulletin board?!? a list of local hospitals 2 more hours of training a refrigerator medication lock box 2 new garbage cans and a partridge in a pear tree!! boy you'd think i was trying to open a daycare or something huh? all this by next friday, this friday again!!

so on friday i went in with my girls for their hep a and to get a copy of my tb test, we had them done months ago, the only one we found was Wes's but it had the wrong birthday on 4 copies!! so then i found out the girls needed their 3 and 4 year vaccinations, like how many times have i been to the doctors this year and they don't mention it? ok so haley ended up with two shots and so did the bean, they had my tb on file but A never had hers done, so we came back today and all three girls needed to see the doctor, A needed the tb test, the bean had a very large red thigh, red around the shots!! and hot to the touch, she was allergic to the hep a shot it is a new vaccination the state requires as of August. so now she cannot finish the shots in October and then there was my Haley, who kept getting in trouble for wetting her pants, and i feel just horrible, she had to get 3 more shots, and pee in a cup!! she has a bladder infection!! no wonder she couldn't go potty!! my poor baby all i could do was hold her. i felt like i should have seen this and we were in a few weeks back because i told the doctor she was complaining but the doctor found nothing now a bladder infection!!

so now most of my ducks are falling out of the sky and i am forcing them into this sick little v shape to see if the surveyor will allow daycare, lord do you know what it is like to not make any of your own money for 5 years!!! hey at least it is not 55 years but that is another day! Hah plugged the g-man and i missed flash fiction friday. then today i had the workshop in winfield and we had to check out another house and i had to print off some paperwork i forgot about for the 7 o'clock workshop at 5:30 and now i have a public information presentation on Wednesday at 10:30 am and i am supposed to do the presentation in Spanish!! what the H-E double hockey sticks was i thinking, holy cow!!

oh and did i tell you the mini moos don't count. or wait they do. we were at the WW meeting and i was all jazzed because i lost 3.8 pound last week!! yay me!! and the lady asked what kind of changes did we make and the first thing i blurted out was 'butter'. see i decided to trade out my butter for my coffee, then i heard i could switch out the creamer because it was too many points and when i told the lady i found a 0 point cream she said it is only 0 points for up to 3 cups. excuse me?!? well then i was angry and didn't ask any more questions because i have been using 3 creamers per cup because it is not enough with just 1. but she thought, i think, that i was using 1 per cup and having more then 3 cups a day was going to count as another point. i was pissed because i just spent 8 bucks on creamer from Sams when i had 2 dollar creamer at home with the same point value!! i wasted 8 bucks!! that on top of everything else just took away from my victory, then a miracle happened.

recovery

i have a friend in recovery named Ayed, his name is actually Ayed Q. my name is Suzie Q. yes I was named after the song, the Buddy Holly song and a bet at the race tracks, Quinella is my middle name,(quite a handle huh) took me years to learn to spell my middle name. anyway, i met Ayed at the World convention in San Antonio. he is from Saudi Arabia and he was one of the speakers there, as you can imagine we don't talk much but check in on each other from time to time. My friend sent me some speaker tapes, from WCNA33 in Barcelona, I don't know if he went but I listened, and I calmed down. It was a god shot to hear these strangers I never met tell my story and bring me into some much needed humility.

So I am giving a shout out to all my recovery miracles out there, thank you. no i mean THANK YOU for being there, for praying for me when i couldn't pray for myself, for believing in me when i believed in nothing else for giving me some sanity and freedom, freedom from active addiction. the reason i will continue my service to NA, the fellowship that didn't save my life, it gave me one.

so in case you were wondering, because i haven't been around, what the weather is like here... it is nice and cool and a slight breeze from the south, tomorrow looks beautiful.

thanks to all my peeps for sticking around and giving me comments and awards, i will try to get to them after all this craziness calms down.- Q

tuesday update

well the time has come, no turning back now, inspection on Friday!!! Just got a call from the city with the go ahead to inspect my home for the daycare!! Remember the daycare, the thing i tried to start back in July? Why yes i have been slowly following through on that, and now finally I am up for inspection!! Still not sure if I am ready, but she will be here on Friday morning and I better be ready!!!

Wes still needs to remove the junk in the back yard and I think I need a cover for my water hose but I think that is it, the rest of the home is ready.

So I will do some spring cleaning just to get it pretty, and cross my fingers that by Monday I will be open for business.

So my weight watchers update... it sucks, i am allowed 30 points a day and we are given an extra 35 points per week, well I was making my breakfast yesterday and my bread was 4 points for 2 slices, well I found these thin buns that are only 1 point so I switched. saving 3 points. I have cut out my butter, i eat the bread dry, but here is the kicker, my coffee with cream and sugar is 2 points. i will not give up my coffee, not ready yet. so i gave up butter to allow my coffee, and the 4 point toast as well. and i am using about half the sugar and cream then before so that is huge for me. the problem is yesterday my points were at 34 because i had 4 cups of coffee. and i was a bit hungry because i used so many points on coffee. here is the problem, i have tried every single sugar substitute out there, yuck!! every time a new one comes out i try it, i know i need to cut my sugar, my whole family is diabetic, but when it comes to my coffee, sugar and half and half are the way to go. Well there is the problem, 1 tblsp sugar- 1 point, 2 tblsp cream- 1 point. so like i said that is really less then i was putting in. pretty bad huh. well the good news is i have already lowered my intake so yeah me. and i will give myself a month or even 2 months then try to cut it in half again so that way my coffee is just one point. don't think i will go lower then that but i am going to push myself to do that.

ok that is where i am at today, oh o went to the gym yesterday and walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes at 3.5 miles per hour( that's pretty fast) and then the last minute and a half i kicked it up and ran at 5 miles per hour, so I burned 199 calories and earned 2 extra points for the week. Wes and i are training for a 5k walk/run in june we will see what happens. i feel pretty good today as i stretched for 20 minutes afterwards, i hurt so much after i got off the treadmill, my butt hurt!! that was different!! i don't remember the last time i felt a pain there!! so i am down 4 pounds and i weigh in on sunday and will find out if i lost any this week as well. my starting weight was at 222 but i was at 226 the last time i was at the doctors, funny though my license says 165!!

i wonder if those people that read those know we are lying or not? the cops never said anything either! the state could make a lot of money with a 'guess you weight' game at the license office!! put a scale in there and I guarantee you the state would pick up a lot of money from women not fessing up to their real weight, my sister lied about her height!!

That was a sad one the other night we weighed out our meat portions and my sister was here and i asked her if she was interested in weight watchers i could show her how, she looked angry and acted like it was a punishment to eat raw vegetables. it was like she was saying, even though she didn't, this is my only vice and you are not taking it away from me. she was so not willing, i know she won't be around to see her 55 birthday. she is only 18 months older then me but she is in worse shape then her father was. he just dropped dead at the bingo hall. powerless, it is how i feel when i am around her. because i cannot change her fate, only my own. i think i am the only one in the family who does not have diabetes. i don't want diabetes. or kidney failure or an oxygen tank. so off to the gym i go, hope you all have healthy choices today and are blessed with seeing the little miracles our higher power has put in front of us today, like this beautiful sunrise, the birds singing or kids giggling!!

sunday thoughts

well i did it, i started weight watchers today. i hope i can stick with it, my points for today were tough, i didn't get a chance to have breakfast so my lunch left me hungry and i was scared to eat as i didn't want to over eat. i am using this new tool called mars edit to post to the blogger. i also created a new blog, it is for the hispanic group, it is just an announcement page with some original Na artwork i created for the group, it is also in spanish, i can leave the address and you can stop by and have a look but unless you read Castillian Spanish you may not understand what you are reading.

ok let me see if i can load some pictures here...

Here is the bean just hanging around the doctors office...

And looking as cute as ever in her slick shades..

here we are getting ready to work in the garden, don't take her shovel from her!!

my new rototiller!! ok it is used but it is built right!!

here Wes decided to plant rows of potatoes and onion sets, he tilled the garden and liked the rows it made and wanted me to not rake them down, he wanted to use them to plant in. so now we plant in these rows that do not seem to look as good as last years garden... oh well that is life, we shall see if they grow, or not..

ok this is pretty easy now that i know what i am doing i can post more tomorrow.

i want to give a shout out to Ji!! thank you sweetie for nominating me for, i am not sure what but it was cool, i know i am not a poet or creative with writing and i don't draw, but you put me in some excellent company!! so thanks so much!!
oh not sure if i can link it through this mars thingy but here is the address to my Hispanic website 'hispanosenna.blogspot.com' i will post this and then edit thew link in blogger. check it out we even have our own phone line!!

post update

well i got this beautiful imac, and there is an app for posting to blogger real easy, only i don't know how to use it yet. the test post was actually done by Wes last night as he was trying to figure out how to add images from iphoto.

as you can see no photo, so as of yet i do not know how to use the gadget. but i am learning!!

well tonight was the Military Ball and my girl was absolutely stunning in her full length evening gown, black satin with strappy black heals, she looked like a pretty princess!! though she walked out with her Twilight BAG!!! i told her to get a bag that matched and she said " mom this is the only black bag i have" whatever, i know that it is not true but what can you do, so hopefully tomorrow i can her with pictures and all!!

ok just a check up on the test post thingy, and i am still figuring out this mac!! but hey i was working in photoshop for 3 hours the other day and my computer never crashed!! oops i think that i need to go get my girl!! have a great evening!!

Test Post

This is a test post. This is my daughter with a big, distorted messy face.

This is some text.

Flash Fiction Friday-sailing dreams

Every Friday write a short story, poem or prose,

then report it to the g-man!!

"To sail away on the open sea,

The joy's a new boat will bring to me

Oh how I thought I could never afford

This new truck and boat I can't wait to board

Oh how confused and sad this makes me

Tell me how the hell do I get this boat out to sea?!"

Here you go G-man!! No it is not my boat, I am landlocked!! I would be very upset if it was me though!! My garden is growing and hopefully this weekend we can get some pictures posted, I can catch up on everyone who has posted tonight and boy does that fresh coffee smell great!! My honey is out there roasting us some fresh coffee to drink and we just finished some late gardening, I have a nice insectary going. I am going to try some zucchini and cucumbers again this year i did not sterilize my soil so i am told the vine borers will be there. but I got a plan:

I will start my zucchini in pots and treat them like lettuce, i will plant two starts of those out there now and when they start to fruit i will get the fruit and when they show damage I will pull them roots and hopefully grubs and all bag it up and send it to the dump and plant my new starts after. I may be out of fruit for a week or two but I won't lose an entire seasons worth and i won't use insecticide, I also heard if you put a piece of foil under your squash it will confuse the moths and they won't lay their eggs there. This is my best shot and i am going to try it, I read that bees are disappearing all over the world and I honestly think 7 Dust should be banned from use, plus my children LOVE planting the garden and they would not be able to if I used that stuff. Ok so here is my thought for today: "Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out."--Art Linkletter

Flash Fiction Friday- precious memories

Every Friday write a short story, poem or prose, and then report to the g-man!!!

"My how this week has just flown by

with love and laughter and twinkling eyes

Our time is so fleeting and these moments so precious

i don't want to let the years take these memories

so while my kids run from my camera each day

i just love all the stories each picture can say."

Here you go g-man!! i will be posting some cute ones of the bean flipping pancakes, i got it easy now the girls do all their own cooking, each one gets to make their own pancake!!

Busy week and even busier weekend to come!! hope you all get a chance to enjoy the wonderful spring weather we are having!! i will try to stop by in the morning to check on everyone.

easter and giving birth again

Here they are!! in their Easter dresses and shoes!! girls, I have girls!! Now lets start the photo shoot!! Surely this will be easy with these darling girls being so photogenic!!

Gillian, look at the camera!! over here honey!!!

no not silly faces, smile for the camera, come on work with me not against me!!

OK goof balls there is a smile, goofy but a smile

posing for the camera I could have uploaded all the pictures but you wouldn't have gotten done reading until next week!!

the dark Easter bunny brought Adrianna a New Moon bag, yuck! Well there's no accounting for taste!!

OK we invited a bunch of kids and this is all that came. we have 300 plastic filled Easter eggs so good luck and go find them

I think they all turned their backs at the same time, the hunt lasted about 30 minutes which is quite a long time as far as hunts go, but i used 2 and a half yards to put the eggs in

my girls are a little close to the street here but they are doing a great job picking up all the eggs, and i am ten feet away.

See the blue string in the grass? yeah my sister and her kids plus my oldest decided to spray me down when they got there and wish me happy birthday, a day early so as to surprise me.

After we found all the eggs there was the egg race. you know the one with the eggs on the spoon and they walk around the tree?

look at how swift footed and agile miss Haley is!! she didn't drop her egg, though through the magic of editing you didn't see the first two races where first she held the egg and then she dropped the egg!! oh well third time's a charm!!

Here she is getting her prize from my sister!! a water squirt gun which she later used to squirt the very woman who gave it to her!!
and here I gave 'birth' to Haley all over again!! he,he,he. We had so much junk food I may not loose weight for ten years!! all in all the Easter holiday/early birthday was wonderful, and today for my birthday I have had 15 wishes given to me via facebook and I am going shopping with my sister and out to lunch!! the good shopping the kind for clothes that you see women do in movies, yeah that is what i am doing today. and Saigon #49!! the best Thai cuisine in Wichita!! now i need to grab a fresh cup of Yemen coffee and check up on how everyone else is doing this morning. for todays thought; "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself"- Ethel Barrymore

Flash Fiction Friday- grief and loss

Every Friday write a short story of 55 words,
no more, no less and report it to the g-man. OK so mine is late, i
had a late night phone call last night with the worst news anyone would want to hear.
i attended a funeral today and i was reading something on the program and it was 55 words,
so in honor of the child that died this past Tuesday, and his father, here are my 55 words...

" Maxwell Martin

isn't it strange how princes and kings,
And clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
And common people, like you and me,
Are builders for eternity.

Each is given a list of rules;
A shapeless mass; a bag of tools.
And each must fashion, ere life is flown,
A stumbling block, or stepping stone."

Here you go g-man, i was looking for my muse and found it right there. i thought it was very appropriate that on Friday I go to a funeral and find my 55 words of inspiration for this blog. We went to a meeting on Monday and spoke with our friends, i got a call last night and found out our friends son died this past tuesday of a terrible car accident. His fiance was driving and didn't yield coming onto the highway and got hit by a semi truck. she was pregnant and lost the baby. she hasn't woken up yet but her family is gone. here is the poem that was read at the funeral. i think it is touching and beautiful and wanted to share...

"When Tomorrow Starts Without Me"

when tomorrow starts without me and I'm not here to see..
If the sun should rise and find your eyes filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today...
while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me as much as I love you.
And each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand
That Jesus came and called my name and took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready in heaven far above...
And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.
So when tomorrow starts without me Don't think we're far apart.
For every time you think of me I'm right here in your heart.