Every Friday write a short story, poem or prose
of 55 words, no more no less, then report it to the g-man!!!
"this week has claimed the lives of two who worked so hard to recover
and it has also blessed the lives of two who fell in love with each other.
today it feels like my life is starting and yet so much is ending
how do we begin taking it all in, beginnings and endings?"
Here ya go G-man, my story for this week is bittersweet, i am not sure how to feel. writing it all down seems to help but it still doesn't seem real. i learned today of the passing of two friends in recovery, both died clean. one died just today. and today my honey got on one knee and put a ring on my finger. i am ecstatic and devastated all in one shot. i want to be happy but part of me is not.
i have a meeting tomorrow and i am so grateful to be getting my coin finally. and i am sad that my friends won't be there to see it. is that selfish of me, to be sad because they are not there? is it selfish of me to want to be happy for myself when so many are so sad because these two miracles are gone?
my friend sara, i met her about 3 years ago. she was a sweet lady who was shy at first. then she came to life full of hope and wanted to be of service so much. and she was, and she touched so many women, they will miss her greatly. and my friend randy, he was on facebook with me a lot, he had a heart problem and went to the hospital two days ago, he passed away today, he was a big advocate to newcomers and was always there helping those who couldn't help themselves.
i really liked that about randy, because i do not make myself available to newcomers as much as i should. i am afraid, when we are new to recovery, we are not very good people, i remember thinking 'life sucks' a lot when well basically my whole life, and when i first got here i was a mess. then i found out it wasn't life that sucked, it was me that sucked at life!!
what a change my life is today, i have a beautiful ring on my finger and a wonderful family to show for it and i am mostly happy everyday. i know i have my issues but today i do not suck at life and that makes me a miracle. randy and sara were miracles as well, tonight they are shining down on us trying to show us how to help others be the miracles that they cannot see in themselves. i will miss them both...
today's thought; "The healthiest response to life is joy."- Deepak Chopra