Thursday, February 3, 2011

flash Fiction Friday- beginnings and endings

  Every Friday write a short story, poem or prose
of 55 words, no more no less, then report it to the g-man!!!


"this week has claimed the lives of two who worked so hard to recover
and it has also blessed the lives of two who fell in love with each other.
today it feels like my life is starting and yet so much is ending
how do we begin taking it all in, beginnings and endings?"


Here ya go G-man, my story for this week is bittersweet, i am not sure how to feel. writing it all down seems to help but it still doesn't seem real. i learned today of the passing of two friends in recovery, both died clean. one died just today. and today my honey got on one knee and put a ring on my finger. i am ecstatic and devastated all in one shot. i want to be happy but part of me is not.

 i have a meeting tomorrow and i am so grateful to be getting my coin finally. and i am sad that my friends won't be there to see it. is that selfish of me, to be sad because they are not there? is it selfish of me to want to be happy for myself when so many are so sad because these two miracles are gone? 

my friend sara, i met her about 3 years ago. she was a sweet lady who was shy at first. then she came to life full of hope and wanted to be of service so much. and she was, and she touched so many women, they will miss her greatly. and my friend randy, he was on facebook with me a lot, he had a heart problem and went to the hospital two days ago, he passed away today, he was a big advocate to newcomers and was always there helping those who couldn't help themselves. 

i really liked that about randy, because i do not make myself available to newcomers as much as i should. i am afraid, when we are new to recovery, we are not very good people, i remember thinking 'life sucks' a lot when well basically my whole life, and when i first got here i was a mess. then i found out it wasn't life that sucked, it was me that sucked at life!!

what a change my life is today, i have a beautiful ring on my finger and a wonderful family to show for it and i am mostly happy everyday. i know i have my issues but today i do not suck at life and that makes me a miracle. randy and sara were miracles as well, tonight they are shining down on us trying to show us how to help others be the miracles that they cannot see in themselves. i will miss them both...

today's thought; "The healthiest response to life is joy."- Deepak Chopra

15 comments:

moondustwriter said...

Beginnings and endings a part of life
suffering and failing - oh why the strife?
you've lost someone special shed a tear
for their success stand up and cheer!
you've made a difference
look and see
those dear little eyes
what the future will be...



***Strive each day to be your best - you are loved ( look at your finger)

hugs, celebrating (and a tear) with you

G-Man said...

Susie...
You always are so loving...
Excellent 55 My Dear.
Bittersweet is ok!
Thanks for playing, and hgave a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Belinda said...

You've had a roller coaster week! Congratulations on the ring and I hope you get a little respite this weekend.

Brian Miller said...

sorry for your loss...be the miracles they can not see in them selves...i like that...

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Miracles all! :)

the verification word for posting this is

Joysol

Joy in our soul... that's what it made me think :)

Akelamalu said...

That's Life, and Death. Don't let the passing of your friends mar such a special time in your life - I'm sure they are happy for you. x

Your bittersweet 55 says it all.

Mine's up too.

izzy said...

I know the bittersweet feeling- thanks for sharing. My sponsor always reminds me to focus on the gratitude and that is just what you are doing!

HOOTIN' ANNI said...

miracles indeed. it's such a loss for those left behind. Your 55 may be bittersweet, but hey...it's filled with love I read between the lines.


AND!!!!!!!!!!!....LOVE the portrait published below this post....they're darling!!! Absolutely darling.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am so sorry at the loss of two good friends.
The only thing I know for sure, is they would want you to be happy with your life.
Life is short and sweet. Enjoy your weekend.
Suz

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

Life's not always sunshine and lollipops and rainbows everywhere, as Leslie Gore once sang. How we deal with the lows is what gives us our strength and character.

A poignant 55.

autumnraven said...

Wow...so much feeling here. The circle of life happening in such a tiny spot. No, not selfish to be sad they weren't there. You sound like a miracle. Glad I stopped in today.

Mama Zen said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not selfish to be sad that they aren't there to experience your happiness with you.

Monkey Man said...

Living life. That's what we do. Great 55.

Enchanted Oak said...

Hey sweet thing. Remember Sara and Randy by taking the best of them into yourself. Those crazy newcomers need to be welcomed, BY YOU, not necessarily sponsored, just welcomed with a warm heart. I do a lot of remembering their names and giving them hugs, and IT"S GREAT! (And I don't have to listen to crazy crap on the phone!) Congratulations, sister, on a beginning.
Free advice coming out of the woodwork!

Syd said...

Keep them in your memory. That is how they stay with you. I totally understand. Death is a hard thing to reconcile. But it comes to each of us. I hope that the happiness of the day will triumph over your sadness.