Wednesday, February 16, 2011

update, i am still here

wow where do i begin, my "A" had therapy last week and it must have been rough because she ended up creating such chaos that following weekend i still can't comprehend it. to make a long story short, my niece is sleeping on my couch right now. 

my sister does not want my daughter in her home ever again and i have just had a week of extra responsibilities. i have not gone to the gym, posted a blog, touched my steps or been to a meeting. the only thing keeping my sanity is my homework from therapy.

i picked out wedding invitations, found a venue and started a guest list. we have been looking for a car for my niece and trying to figure out how we can get my sister and her to talk, trying to tell my daughter she needs to apologize to my sister and getting all the flack from my sister about how she and her daughter will never have a relationship, how everyone only hurts her and how she hates her daughter.

in the last two days the hotel reached its capacity, we have had 12 registrations come in and shirts from members in India who support this cause, have some in. I have not done a report for the newsletter, we are meeting this weekend, I need to get a friend to come to my house to check on it as two teenage girls will be here and my daughter will not be babysitting my girls for a while, her blowout was that bad.

my niece has been going to these primerica meetings and driving her is draining so i talked with her last night and told her i could not drive her to a place where she was not getting paid, though i commended her efforts to start a business i could take her to the army base but not run my gas tank down on a place that she is going to just be making phone calls. we need to find her a car and she is welcomed to stay here and she needs to talk with her mother.

her mother who lost it completely the other day when we were exchanging kids and almost got into a fist fight with her daughter. it was awful. now i am selling Avon, to get scholarships for my daughter who has yet to talk with us since my last posting about college. seriously at this point if she wants to martyr herself and lose a semester of college because she can't apologize for bad behavior shame on her. i am so angry with her actions right now i can't see straight.

the deadline for housing is still march first and she has said nothing. her dances are coming up and she still has no dress and she is making the decision to cut my sister out of her life. now this sucks. today i am going 'prospecting' with the Avon ladies. not sure what that means, then we are going skating tonight for my nephews birthday, my daughter and niece are not invited, tomorrow double therapy and then to Salina for the weekend.

i am so tired, i think i will start back to the gym next week. i wanted to go today, there is so much going on i am physically and emotionally drained. oh i got the most beautiful pictures of my children in and sent wes's mom flowers for valentines day, i got 2 dozen roses myself and snuck a card into my honeys lunch box. i am going to drink some fresh coffee now and maybe. hopefully catch up on my peeps. if another major catastrophe doesn't happen....

today's thought; "Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts..." 
 Robert Fulghum

and for the record, i have not yelled at anyone all week. i have not said one word in anger or had one single emotional breakdown. pretty good for a recovering addict with borderline personality disorder!! i have been a very good and diplomatic mom this week


Chic Mama said...

Oh no, poor you what a nightmare. I hope everyone comes around as you are stuck right in the middle aren't you. XX

Busy Bee Suz said...

So sorry things are not going smoothly with your daughter, niece and sister.
I can't imagine how your heart feels right now.
Deep breaths....

Mama Zen said...

Damn, that's a lot to cope with. Hang in there, girl.

Christina said...

i am keeping you in my thoughts. hang in there.

just stopping in to thank you, for your kind words, when i needed them most.

Her Big Sad said...

Good grief! Praying for you, that the relationships in your family heal, and fast! Remember to take care of you, Sweet Girl!! Kudos on keeping your cool and exercising diplomacy this week! Hugs!

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

I'm glad you found the power not to yell all week, that in itself is invigorating and energizing!

Hope A finds what she needs in all these experiences to become better and stronger as she grows! :)

Syd said...

Hope that all will improve. Thanks for your kind comments.