responsible and productive

busy weekend again, worked on my garden this morning and i have vine borers so i dusted a couple of days ago and i have noticed some blue moths around, then it dawned on me that the vine borers are moth larvae, so would it not make sense to put some moth balls out there to keep the moths away? every site i have looked into says nothing about moth balls and what's more there is nothing out there about if i should remove the infected plants or not.
then yesterday haley and i went out and picked some green beans for dinner, i thought i would saute them with some zucchini, no one told me i had to boil the beans first. oh well live and learn.
speaking of learning experiences my family is a plethora of learning. boy i stepped into some big S%$^ yesterday. go figure my brother and sister fighting about who kicked who out and who left on their own accord, both of them landed in the hospital over the stress of it all. now my sister has this worthless freeloader living with her and she is nothing but a trouble maker using triangular manipulation on these two and they are eating up every freaking word. freeloader tells brother sister said this, brother calls me i tell him to ignore what she said. then sister comes over and i ask her if she talked to brother and she said no he is mad at me and i don't know why, so captain stupid here says why. well she said he said ensues and i got right into the middle of it. i was trying to get them to stop fighting and it didn't work i only got a head ache. my sister calls freeloader to ask what she said to my brother, freeloader calls my brother and lies, my brother calls me upset and this is so grade school.

so back to my pleasant reality and away from the family chaos, like i said the program is only for those who want it, not those who need it. today i harvested some cilantro seeds and spinach seeds, i don't have to wait until next year to start them just until we have a place big enough to start a green house.
i remember a story book from when i was little, i think it was stone soup where this one character asked people to help make some soup but no one would help then when she was done everyone wanted to eat her soup. or was it bread, anyway that is how i feel right now with my garden, no one came over to help me with it, no one even wanted to come over to look at it but everyone wants some free fresh veggies to help with their grocery bills since veggies are so expensive. funny how that works huh.
i get real upset when people talk like wes makes tons of money and can afford a lot. here is the thing we don't make any more money than anyone else i know, we just don't go to the gas station and buy pops and cigarettes and we don't go out to eat, we don't own big screen televisions we don't go out to movies we don't spend money on cell phones for the kids and we don't spend an excess amount on clothes. we live within our means which means we spend less money than we bring in so we can be financially stable. it is almost like the people i got clean with treat me different because i am not constantly in financial dire straits any more. but i think differently today. my sister is another one who treats me different. like she just spent over 2000 bucks to go to mexico and new york and has no money for medicine that she needs. she had a 20 fine to pay for the babies pre- school the day she was in the hospital because we couldn't get to him in time, haley was in surgery that day. so she was upset because we wouldn't give her the 20 dollars to pay the school and i told her we only had 5 dollars left in the bank. it is like because we have good credit we are supposed to spend it or something but that is what is wrong with todays society and why we are in an economic crisis to begin with.
people have to start being financially responsible for their own families and their own lives and quit blaming those who are responsible for having more. i don't have any more than anyone else and i am no better than anyone else. it has been a long time coming and i am really close to being out of debt for the first time in my entire adult life. i have never been responsible i always ignored the notices in the mail i never tried to pay my debts i always ran from them.
today i know i have no business going out and spending money on a latte when i owe someone else financially. i am not going hungry i have clothes on my back and a beautiful home to take care of gratefully. i am finally in a place where i am going to pay off the last of my bad debt and put my student loans in good standing and pay them off. it feels real good to not ignore creditors. in fact i paid off a credit card bill and the phone rang. it was an 800 number from florida so i answered it and it was an automated a**hole saying "stay on the line for important information about your credit card debt.." i thought i don't have any c.c. debt anymore i just paid it off. so feeling a bit empowered i stayed on the line and when the operator came on i said "who is this, do i owe you money?" they hung up!!
the old me would have been like instantly thinking i owed them money and given any information they asked for, turns out they were "fishing" and it is a way to get your personal information to steal your identity. today i listen to suze orman and the first thing she says about getting out of debt is "Stop Spending Money!!" that is not an easy thing to do, i wish the whole of society would listen about not getting deeper into debt and thinking that it is all the presidents fault for the economic crisis, it is like the whole of america has turned into monday morning quarterbacks and every one knows how to get the nation out of debt. these same people are the ones who are still in debt themselves. today i am a solutions person i don't blame the world for it's problems, i am stepping up and suiting up and helping where i can to be part of this process. one part for me is the health care reform. i am reading up on it and learning what it is REALLY about not the convoluted crap they spew out on fox news. the onion reports more truths than that network. i am not about fear mongoring and i really want to help put this country in a better place, where we are not just a nation of consumers anymore, we consume everything and export nothing we need to change this. and it starts right here with me, one person at a time. my little garden is a way of giving back and not expecting the shelves to be full of groceries for me. spending a little less at walmart will do this nation some good.
i promise to stop by and check on all my blogging buddies tomorrow, tonight my sweetie is taking me out on a cheap date, we're going fishing!! it is fun and free!! i can't wait. ok gratitude list 5 things;
1. today i am grateful my haleys smile is back to normal.
2. today i am grateful for the 5 tomatoes about to be eaten in my garden!!
3. today i am grateful to have pre-school lessons available free online for my little ones.
4. today i am grateful for all the computer skills i have learned in recovery.
5. today i am grateful for the beautiful weather we are having that is helping my electric bill by not running the AC.
i am learning today about carbon footprints and what it means to me and my family. they are so precious my little ones and i hope to teach them how to be responsible from the start, rather than how i have come to learn about it. 36 years old and i am finally growing up who'd a thunk it? todays thought;“There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”— Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian political leader